Things I Never Thought I’d Say To My Kids

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Growing up, my mom said a lot of “those things.” You know, those things that made me cringe and laugh and giggle and promise myself that I would never say when I became a mom. I swore it would never happen. And then I found myself tired and frustrated, and unable to control the “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” that just unknowingly slipped out. Then I realized that without realizing it, I had officially become my mother. Here are a few of the things I’ve caught myself saying to my kids:

“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

“I’m your mother, not your slave.”

“Don’t make me pull this car over…”

“I’m not mad; I’m disappointed.”

“If I have to come up there, you will be sorry!”

“I hope one day you have a daughter who is just like you.”

“Were you raised in a barn?”

“When I was your age…”

“When you are the mom, you will understand.”

“When you are the mom, you will get to make the decisions.”

What about you? Have you become your mother? What are some of “those things” that you’ve caught yourself saying to your kids?

—Ali, senior associate editor of

One response to “Things I Never Thought I’d Say To My Kids”

  1. officially my mom says:

    “Back in the day…”
    “What is this device you speak of?”
    (Helping my 12 year old with his math homework) “Go ask your father.”

    God help me.