Guest Post: The Bad Guy Who Came to the House and Put Water Everywhere

“I think a bad guy came to our house and put water everywhere and left.” -- Ayaan Hamid

In today’s Family Jewels guest blog post, Zeeshan Hamid of Why My Hair Don’t Grow No More remembers the instance that triggered his hair loss.

My three year old drew me the other day without any hair (duh).  Then he asked what happened to my hair.  “You happened,” I answered.  Let me explain.

I work from home. I was in an important meeting when I heard my wife yelling: “Zeeeeeshaaaaan, come up fast. Quick. Hurry.”

For a moment, I thought my son had finally killed the cat. I ran up mid-sentence, leaving the person stranded on the phone.

It turned out that he had turned the high-flow master bath faucet around, so it faced the floor instead of the bathtub, and turned it on. In less than a few minutes the entire master bath and bedroom was flooded with water. Oh, did I mention we have hardwood upstairs?

My wife and I quickly grabbed every towel and bed sheet and dried the floor as my three year old played with his cars, making crashing noises.

As I waited for the hardwood to dry so I could assess the damage, I heard water dripping downstairs. It turned out that the flooding upstairs caused water to go into the ceiling. I had an in-ceiling 7.1 surround-sound system that turned into a 0.1 sound system (update: I am told the speakers will be okay). You have no idea how much it hurts to drill holes in the ceiling to take water out—4 buckets full, to be precise. As if that wasn’t enough, I had to make huge holes to basically stick my hand in with a towel and dry out the ceiling from inside.

Now we are out of clean bed sheets and towels, our living room ceiling has holes, the master bed hardwood has fancy wrapping and the ceiling smells like moisture. Oh, and before I could really confront him, he clarified: “I think a bad guy came to our house and put water everywhere and left.”

Yes, that’s exactly what I think happened (except the ‘bad guy’ is still around. Don’t worry, I did not tell him that). I need to save this post to show him why his RESP wasn’t funded as well as his siblings’. As it is, we are still in the process of repainting the house to get rid of his caveman painting.

Oh, and the guy I was on the phone with?  Apparently he waited for 10 minutes before hanging up and then spent the next 2 hours trying to get a hold of me. He was not amused at all.

Is it a wonder that I don’t have hair anymore? Pretty soon I’ll start losing my chest hair too out of stress. Well, at least there’s a side benefit, I am told people pay a lot of money to get their chest hair waxed.

Zeeshan Hamid is a married father of three, community activist, Milton council candidate for ward 8 and author of Why My Hair Dont Grow No More.

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